


I'll Follow You

by Retasudesu



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 14:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7805161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retasudesu/pseuds/Retasudesu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was funny how everyone insisted that Ohno was dead, when he was staying here with Jun, very much alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Follow You

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed and rushed.

It was the same dream all over again.

Jun found himself standing in the middle of hallway, disoriented and sluggish. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was having the same dream again; the same bright hallway, the same dead clock hanging on the pure white wall, the sound of his own, heavy breathing – 

_Knock knock knock knock knock knock._

And the sound of rapid knocking in the distance.

Jun turned his head towards the end of the hallway, where the door was. It was rather far, but Jun could see that some people were beyond it by the small window on the door, relentlessly knocking, almost as if begging for Jun to open it and let them in… or maybe it was to let Jun out? Either way, his body turned towards the door and begun approaching it. It didn’t feel like his body belonged to him – it almost felt like someone was controlling him, and Jun was merely a puppet, dancing under whoever on the end of the line’s wish was. It further convinced him with how funny he walked; step by step, body swaying right to left like someone impatiently, yet playfully yanked his strings.

Took him a while, but he finally arrived at the door.

He could make out the figures behind the door once he was close – but even from afar Jun already knew who it’d be. He has experienced this dream for countless time, that the sight of his friends knocking frantically from behind the door with tears streaming down their faces didn’t surprise him anymore.

_“Jun_ _.”_

Sho said. Or was it even Sho? Jun merely tilted his head as his name was called sadly like that.

“ _Jun_ _, please.”_

‘Please what, Sho-kun?’ He wanted to ask. But his lips wouldn’t part. He just stood there, unmoving and unbothered even when his emotions were whirling inside. The first time he had experienced this dream, he had been panicking and on the verge of crying too because he couldn’t stand seeing them crying – but now, he didn’t. Or more likely, couldn’t.

“ _Jun-kun!”_ Aiba cried out as he shoved Sho aside until his face was all Jun could see from behind the window. “ _Jun-kun, please!”_

‘Please what?’ Jun asked internally. ‘Please what, Aiba-kun _?’_

From behind the door, Aiba pressed his forehead against the window as he let out a pitiful sob. “ _Please.”_

Jun felt like screaming – he never understood what it was that they wanted. They were crying and begging, but he never understood why they did so. He never did, because whenever his eyes started darting downward to the dangling key on the doorknob, and whenever his hands were curling on the key, ready to unlock the door, someone else always stopped him.

“ _Jun-kun_.”

Ohno always did.

He turned around, away from his friend’s crying faces, and he found Ohno standing not too far behind him, appearing out of nowhere like a ghost. But his appearance did look like a ghost; Ohno was truly pale, and the pale blue hospital gown he wore didn’t help at all.

Even so, Jun could feel a wave of relief washing over him as he saw Ohno.

“ _Jun-kun.”_ Ohno called again, his voice painfully sweet and tempting. “ _Come here.”_

_‘_ But – _‘_

_“Come here, Jun-kun.”_

And as always, he let go of the key. As always, he took a step away from the door. And then again. And again. His friends’ wailing started getting louder as he turned away from the door, and it only fueled him to get to Ohno as soon as he possible because he couldn’t stand it – he couldn’t stand their cries.

_“Jun, please don’t!”_

_“Come back here, Jun-kun!”_

_“Jun, please!”_

But he couldn’t turn around. Not anymore. Not when Ohno was beaming at him as he approached him, as he fell into his arms, with all his weight and his sudden fatigue. Ohno held him like he didn’t weight a single pound – he wrapped his arms around Jun, pulling him closer till his breath tickled his ear.

“ _Good boy_.”

Jun felt like laughing at that, but he remained silent. He has experienced this dream again and again, and this was something that he always looked forward to – being hugged by Ohno like this. Sure, he loved being hugged by Ohno – has always been – but he hugged him with another purpose, and within that few minutes where they stayed in that position, Jun was frantically looking for it.

His warmth.

But as always, it was nowhere to be found. There wasn’t any warmth even when Ohno held him close like this; if possible, Jun only felt colder – the cold was eating him out, and he couldn’t stand the embrace, not when it was _this_ cold.

And as if he understood, Ohno let go. He smiled up at Jun, but then his eyes darted towards the door, to those behind him, and if possible, Ohno’s smile got wider.

‘Satoshi?’

“ _Let’s go._ ” Ohno said; he took Jun’s hand and held it gently, and then he started pulling him along, towards another end on the hallway where it was pitch dark unlike where they were. “ _Let’s go_. _”_

‘But it’s dark.’

“ _Scaredy-cat.”_ Ohno laughed playfully, but his grip on Jun’s hand was getting tighter. “ _I’m here with you. Don’t worry.”_

‘You won’t leave me alone, right?’

“ _I won’t.”_

‘You’ll stay with me no matter what, right?’

“ _I will.”_ Ohno stopped on his track, right under the last lamp on the hallway was, right under the border of dark and light. _“That’s why, no matter what…”_

“ _Never open the door, Jun-kun_.”

And Jun could never say no, not when Ohno was looking at him sadly, almost as if he was afraid that Jun would be going instead. That was stupid, of course, because Jun would never go anywhere.

He’d follow Ohno, no matter where he was going.

With a bright, bright smile, almost as if he could feel Jun’s resolution, Ohno began pulling him towards the darkness. Jun’s heart skipped a beat as he watched the darkness engulfed Ohno, and for a split moment, he was so afraid that his mouth went wide open in an attempt to scream for help –

But then the darkness engulfed him too.

And right before he became one with the darkness, he could hear Nino’s voice ringing in the distance.

“ _Don’t leave us, Jun!”_

***

“I’m sorry to say but… his condition isn’t improving at all, sir.”

Nino nodded hurriedly upon hearing the doctor’s words, almost as if to cover his building disappointment. “I can see that.”

The doctor smiled solemnly, eyes darting back and forth to his papers and to the big window that separated them from a certain someone behind it. “Sometimes when his conditions are good, he could recognize his surroundings and he even asked about his family and friends. We’ve been careful not to mention about Ohno-san, but he remembered him by himself and then…”

The doctor left the words hanging, but Nino knew what he would mean even without saying. “And then he became _dead_ again.”

“Unresponsive.” Sho’s harsh words came from behind him, in which Nino only spared him a lazy glance before he turned towards the window again. “Don’t you dare saying such thing about Jun.”

“But it’s the truth…” Nino mumbled, though he could feel guilty started creeping up on his heart from calling his friend dead when clearly he wasn’t…yet. “Look at him.”

All eyes turned towards the figure beyond the window; even Aiba, whose eyes have been staring at the ground all the time, involuntarily stares towards the figure.

And Jun was there, sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes staring into nothing.

_Lifeless._

“We’ll try our best.” The doctor broke the silence, but his voice was heavy and full of doubts that it was better if he was to keep being silent after all. “We’ll try our best to bring him back to the way he was. Meanwhile, I think it’s good if you all keep on talking to him. It might help.” He stopped himself, and then he slowly added, “Just please don’t bring up about Ohno-san to him.”

“Sure.” Aiba answered for them, for both Nino and Sho were still busy staring. “So, can we go see him now?”

“Go ahead.” The doctor moved towards the door that connected their room to Jun’s, and he opened it for them. “30 minutes.”

“Believe me, we wouldn’t last that long.” Nino mumbled as they moved towards the door; Sho was giving him a death glare, but Nino knew that he was right. He knew that they’d be out less in 30 minutes, either because one of them would be crying or because Jun would lose his shit over whatever they said. It was always like that. “Wish us luck.”

The doctor said nothing as he closed the door behind them.

The three friends stood near the door awkwardly, none of them wanted to make a move towards Jun, who didn’t even flinch or look when they entered. With a heavy sigh, Aiba finally walked towards Jun, fake smile plastered all over his face as he kneeled in front of him and took his hands in his.

“Good afternoon, Jun-kun! How are you today?”

Silence.

Have you eaten well?” Aiba continued, unbothered with Jun’s lack of response – though, if one look closely, Aiba’s eyes were watery already. “You’re getting a bit skinny, Jun-kun… Ah, and your hair is a bit messy too… let me comb it for you okay!” Aiba pulled out his comb from his pocket and he started combing Jun’s hair.

“Let’s get you all handsome again~” He tried to say it in a singsong voice, but his voice ended up out of pitch and strange, and the tears were already leaking out. “Jun-kun is always…so stylish after all… maybe we should go…cut your hair… how about that..? Would you… _hic_ … like it?”

Sho moved from beside him to approach Aiba; he gently stopped Aiba’s hand from combing Jun’s hair, and he pulled him away from it as he took the comb from Aiba’s hand. “Let’s stop…” Sho said softly. “Okay?”

Aiba nodded silently, and he pulled away from Sho only to move to the corner of the room with his back facing them, trying, and failing, to stop his tears from flowing.

Sho placed the comb on the nightstand, and then he faced Jun too, but instead with a smile like Aiba did, he was looking at him with a very sad look. He gently cradled Jun’s face on his hands, though Jun didn’t even bother to look back at him. “Hey.” Sho said quietly. “We missed you so bad, you know.”

In the corner, Aiba’s sobs has gotten louder.

“We missed you so bad, Jun-kun.” He continued. “So please, come back to us.”

“Come back to us, Jun.”

Jun’s quiet breathing was their only answer.

They stayed there for a few more minutes before they finally couldn’t take the silence. Slowly, one by one, they started filling out the room. Nino was last; he stayed there for a few moments, raking his brain, looking for something to say, but everything was connected to Ohno.

Maybe, it was all that was needed to be said.

“How long are you going to be like this, Jun?” He said, and he surprised himself on how clear and strong his voice was carried out. “How long are you going to mourn over Oh-chan?”

“Nino!” Sho hissed from behind him; he grabbed on Nino’s shoulder to pull him along, but Nino broke free and instead he started marching towards Jun, anger building inside his chest to the point that it suffocated him.

“Look at yourself, Jun!” He said as he roughly grabbed on Jun’s shoulder, shaking him back and forth in hope that it’d elicited some kind of response from him. “Look at what a mess you’ve become!”

“Nino, stop it!” Aiba and Sho rushed back inside, and they both tried to pry Nino’s hands away from Jun’s shoulder, but Nino stubbornly held on. He wasn’t finished.

“I understand that you feel guilty over what happened with Oh-chan!” He said, nearly choking from the sudden rush of pain whenever the topic was brought up. “I know that you probably wished, over and over again, to have died along with him in that car accident – I know that you probably couldn’t stop blaming yourself for staying alive while he wasn’t, and to be honest, I blamed you too! I still do!” He stopped for a while to catch his breath, and when he spoke again, his voice broke. “We all do, Jun.”

“Nino…” Aiba sobbed; his hands were still on Nino’s, but he wasn’t trying to pull it away anymore. Instead, he held on to Nino’s tight, almost as if he couldn’t bear the pain he was going through right now. “Please, just stop. Jun is… he couldn’t…”

And Nino couldn’t help the tears from falling too because despite his outburst, Jun was still not looking at him. He was staring towards the door, away from everyone else’s, like Nino’s words never reached him, like it were never touched him.

“We all blame you for his death…” Nino sobbed as he fell to the floor, body shaking from the force of his crying. “But we don’t want to lose you either. So please snap out of it… Let’s talk about it together. Let’s cry together and get over it. Please, Jun.”

“Don’t make me lose you too.”

Nino truly wished for a miracle at that time – he truly wished that his words would move Jun, that his words were enough to pull him out of whatever battle he was having inside of his mind.

But Jun said nothing, and his silence was answer enough for him.

Sho helped him stand; at time like this, Nino was amazed with how composed and collected Sho was. When Ohno was confirmed dead in a car accident, Sho has cried out loud, but he did so only once. After that, he was the one who has been picking them up each time, despite how, every time, he looked like he was about to cry. But he didn’t – he never cried anymore, and now, too, as he pulled both Aiba and Nino along towards the door, he didn’t shed a single tear.

Though Nino would never miss how teary his eyes have gotten.

Just before he was about to close the door though, he heard someone chuckling.

“You’re wrong, Nino.”

His heart felt like it was forcefully stopped, and he turned his head around so fast his neck might break.

Jun was standing right behind him, with a strange and twisted smile on his face; a smile that didn't suit his face at all.

“J-jun –“

“He never leaves.” Jun whispered quietly, to the point that Nino has to actually read his cracked lips movement to know what he was saying. “He stays. He never leaves. He’s here, in this room, with us.”

Nino’s eyes widened. “Wha –“

“ _Goodbye, Nino_.”

And the door was slammed right in front of his face.

***

“It’s funny how they’re insisting that you’re dead, while all the time, you’re here, with us.”

“ _I know, right? They’re stupid like that.”_

“You’re really here with me, right?”

_“Of course.”_

“But why can’t they see you?”

_“I don’t know either, but it doesn’t matter. You can, and that’s all I need.”_

“Satoshi…”

_“You’ll stay with me, right? You’re not going anywhere, right, Jun-kun?”_

“I’ll stay with you, Satoshi. It’s a promise.”

Ohno smiled widely as he took the comb from the nightstand. He played it in his hands, before then he broke it into two and dropped it to the floor.

“ _Good boy.”_


End file.
